Right now (and this has been going on for a very long time) the text says this:
Identification questions are off-topic, because they tend to attract low-quality and low-effort posts. The community has decided to no longer support these questions. Please refer to this meta post for additional details.
The link leads to a meta post explaining why we decided to ban ID requests. And it's super long and nobody's got time to read it. Maybe it has some links to self-help, but I'm sure 99% of people who clicked it didn't find it. And I don't think anyone cares why we don't want to help them. The text is official and dry. That's bad close plaque text.
I propose this new text instead:
Identification questions are no longer allowed on this site since April 2016.
Of course, we'll need to actually compile those links in a convenient user-friendly self-help meta post.
What do you think?